When you have crabs…

When you have crabs…

House of crabs St Kilda

Ok, stop laughing. We all see the irony. Although to my knowledge nobody actually caught crabs at the old Newmarket Hotel, famed for topless bar maids, Tits ‘n Snitz and Spaetzle.

This is a place to get down and dirty. It’s not the kind of place to bring your mother, grandparents, children or clean eaters.

You are going to get dirty from crab, or whatever else, dumped out a plastic bag into the middle of the table.

First off, ensure you grab a booth with a pack of friends. Start with a Lagerita – the lager margarita mash-up.

The House of crabs lagerita

I started with Fried Chilli Squid ($12) on both my visits and the cinnamon dusted Slipper Lobster Donut ($16).
Slipper lobster donut House of Crabs

For crabs you can choose between blue swimmers ($32), spanners ($38), and Alaskan snow ($50) or kings. ($75). The sauces can be insipid and hopefully will start to pack more punch.

The service is laughable too, which has saved my liver. But if you stand-up and wave your arms you’ll eventually attract service although they still may forget your order.

House of Crabs Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato

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