Posts Categorized: Venue

The rules to order a Lune Croissant

Queues who needs them? I’ve learnt to accept the queues for restaurants on Flinders Lane. I’ll pick an unpopular night and/or time for a visit. Or I’ll plan a Negroni or two around the corner for the hour or so I have to wait. Lune Croissant is a different story. People are rising before dawn to queue for croissants (see pics). Not only that they are queueing in the dark and the cold but are leaving empty handed, myself included. It’s utter madness. And I have several problems with what is going on. First, of all there is a lot of guesswork as the website doesn’t tell us much apart from it is closed until 5th July for holidays. Usually Lune it is open from 7:30am-9:00am on a Friday and 8:00am – 9:30am on a Saturday or Sunday. Or until the pastries are sold out – about an hour. Second, there are lots of caveats and rules. Though they are a friendly bunch, the process of buying a croissant is akin to ordering soup from the Soup Nazi. Our first attempt was on a Thursday morning not realising the limited opening hours. The second attempt, post spin class, found us arriving at 7.25am on a Friday. We read the rules – only 6 croissants each – handed out to the queue of over 30 people and about 30 minutes later left with our booty, most of which was eaten in the car before we arrived home in St Kilda. These croissants are good. the ham and cheese croissants are the best. I can take of leave the cruffins. And for me the real sensation was the kouign amann, a buttery pastry from Brittany the scene of many childhood holidays. We needed to return. And we did but arrived at 7.30am on a Friday – 5 minutes later. After about 15 minutes we discovered from other shivering queue members the rules had changed. We required a ticket as detailed in a poster half way down the queue. After an hour we missed out and I started to wonder what the hell I was sucked into – queueing for an hour for a croissant with no reward. The ticket system was introduced to stop queue jumpers and perhaps fist fights between Asian students, the primary force in this skewed croissant economy. In my book nothing is that good to queue for so… Read more »

The Lobster Cave and the confusions of confusions

by Pam and Ed Imagine you were going to spend $330 on a meal for two. You could go for a four course a la carté at Vue de Monde for $150 a head (subject to the day and time of the week). You may bust your budget when you order a glass of wine each. Still, you get the full Vue De Monde experience. And the view. Or you could visit the Tuesday night Chef’s Table at Attica for $125 a head for five course meal and find plenty of options for the remaining $89 wine budget. Or you could leggit down to Beaumaris to the bizarro world of the Lobster Cave and for $329 a three course meal complete with two glasses of boutique wine included. Luckily Pam was there on a Groupon Deal and the $329 meal cost $69. Yes, you heard it. $329 of value for $69 and about 1,400+ people bought this deal. How do they do it? To visit the Lobster cave is to enter an alternative reality zone. I’m not talking about the illuminated fish tanks or the star-like down lights but the strange place it occupies in people’s minds. And the strange field of numbers its pricing belongs to with set menus, deals, vouchers and memberships that make it all but impossible to work out the price of anything on the menu. The latest Groupon offer I looked at is a “$59 Three-Course Seafood Lunch with Wine for Two People at The Lobster Cave (Up to $180 Value)”. For that you’ll get to “Feast on mains like the crispy duck leg and scallops, whole seared lobster tail and sirloin mermaid 300g”. And there is the bonus of a $50 return voucher and membership to the Gold Medallion Club – worth $149 according to the paperwork Pam was given. Pam’s offer, a birthday gift from a girlfriend, despite being a more expensive deal and featuring a picture of lobster tail, did not feature lobster to eat. Of course, she was given the Gold Medallion Club membership and a $50 discount voucher which I guess means the $329 of value equals about $130 of food and drink. Pam’s first and only other visit to The Lobster Cave was, maybe, 15 years ago. She recalls little more than fishing nets on the walls and plastic lobsters. Or maybe that could have been somewhere else completely,… Read more »