Month: June 2009


My recipe for perfect porridge (and tight buttocks)

Warning: unsubstantiated claims follow Creamy porridge 1 measure of cheap rolled oats 1 measure milk 1 measure and a bit more water A substantial pinch of salt Cook slowly, for an hour or so. Serve with drizzled honey and milk There is one secret I want to share with you. It’s the reason I’m not the size of Falstaff – or if you are into serial TV rather than theatre in the round – Hurley from Lost. It’s the reason, […]


Thomas Keller talks Tomato

Neil Perry (left), Thomas Keller and Heston Blumenthal (bald). Courtesy of the Melbourne Wine and Food Festival. On the SBS Food site you can see my story on meeting Thomas Keller at the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival earlier this year. Like most chefs of his calibre, he is charming and practiced and I got a lot out of him in some 20 minutes, more than there was space for in my profile on him. I’ve included some raw quotes […]


The big De Bortoli salami making porkathon

Giving birth to salami. Even before all my dirty pork talk on Twitter I was typecast as the salami guy. During the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival I hosted a discussion on salami with the big sausages from Don. It got messy with a late night on the town with a few of us and a couple of wide-girth extra spicy salami. Then I’m invited to the salami making day at De Bortoli in the Yarra valley with guest, fellow […]

Cooking, Paraphernalia

Crappy Miele cooktops with knobs on

See where the knobs broke. Or should that be knobs off? On the surface Miele is the brand to buy. It’s solid, doesn’t discount and sponsors most of the important food events. It is the backbone of the mobile kitchens at Prahran Market. Then why am I left so angry by my stove top? Because it is really badly designed, has plastic knobs which broke off within a few months and because it costs about twice as much as, for […]


Talking to Thomas Keller

Outside the US Thomas Keller isn’t as well known as Spain’s Ferran Adria and the UK’s Heston Blumenthal. But he is one of only two chefs in the world to hold three prestigious Michelin stars for two restaurants: The French Laundry in California and Per Se in New York. And his place in the culinary history of America is firmly cemented in place by one of the simplest most accessible dishes, a tiny savoury ice cream cone (or cornet), a […]

Cheap eats, Eat streets, Restaurants

The Abyssinian: freedom fighter food in Kensington

There’s a lot to be said for ethnic restaurants. They usually offer big, cheap hearty meals often cooked from the heart. They also often offer the chance to reacquaint oneself with monosodium glutamate, fluorescent strip lighting, surly service and dodgy lino. Then there’s The Abyssinian (277 Racecourse Road Kensington, Victoria 3031, 03 9376 8754), run by two Eritreans, which has taken the genre to another level and avoided all the crap which is why it was packed out the night […]

Chefs, Eat streets, Video

Carry on Gordon Ramsay

[youtube:] On the bombshell that the Herald Sun is dropping the Gordon Ramsay cookery column on Tuesdays, the craggy-faced man arrives in town and we are invited to see him pre Tracey Grimshaw. I reckon he’s wearing heel lifts in his trainers and looking a bit taller than when he was last in town, has a better hairdresser and highlights and has had a bollock-load of botox. He forehead is more wrinkled than my scrotum and frozen solid. I didn’t […]

Books, Drinks, Food blogs, Paraphernalia

Stuff white people like: the very special food and beverage edition

Admit it, these apply to you too. The other week Christian Lander the author of the blog and now best selling bookStuff White People Like was in town. Basically Stuff White People Like is a bit like Top Trumps for White People. I’ll trump you some Murray River Salt and an Ortiz anchovy over your iodised salt and a pilchard. The same goes for my imported Arneis ($75) over yours from the King Valley ($20). Bearing in mind the readership […]


11 ways to spot a food wanker

Typical. Just as the world peaked Paul Levi, the man who had no small part in bringing us the slightly dubious word “Foodie”, launches the Gastrosexual, a man with more dazzling kitchen tools than penile length. I’ve never had much truck for foodies (although a few of you are okay). I’ve met too many who know nothing whatsoever about food. If you would like to see this variety you only have to watch Masterchef which is packed full of wannabes […]