Paraphernalia

Paraphernalia

My favourite gadget: a little ray of sunshine

The electric juicer hasn’t left the cupboard for over a year. It seemed like a good idea at the time but in reality it is simply a sugar machine. Far better I say to cut out the middle man – the juicer – and simply eat the whole fruit, with peel if possible. That gives me sugar, nutrients and, importantly, roughage. And that means I don’t have to lurk in a dark corner at the pharmacist buying Proctologist & Gamble’s […]

coffee, Paraphernalia, Vietnam

Weasel poo coffee – as posh as pig’s arseholes

We are a coffee granule free zone. But I do have half a kilo of some stuff that passed out of a Weasel’s backside. At least in Vietnam they call it weasel. It is a civet and the beans are poohed out, it having eaten the coffee berries. Some poor bugger collects the droppings and (hopefully) washes them before roasting. It makes a very, very dark coloured bean and a very strong dark coffee. J says it even tastes of […]

Paraphernalia

The confronting choice: Knives or chopsticks?

What do you prefer to eat with? Sometimes I just want to rip in their with my hands. Take a shrimp/prawn. Am I really going to piss around peeling it with a knife and fork? Aren’t I going to rip that rustic sour dough and dip it in the olive oil? Tiny lamp chops make me lose control. Cut out the middleman and shove it straight in your gob. I mentioned a few entries ago about the ludicrous guest nights […]

Paraphernalia

Never mind the baking tins this is the bollocks

If a kitchen object were ever to feature in SEX, this would be it. I’m not talking about the hot sweaty act but the (in)famous shop on the Kings road in London. The one that was run by designer Vivienne Westwood and pop Svengali Malcolm McLaren about the same time he launched the Sex Pistols. I don’t suppose many readers would have visited Sex. As a teenager I was lucky enough to. I didn’t have the cash for bondage pants, […]

Paraphernalia

Ready to shave Mr Zimba

Graters. Boring things that rust, dent and occasionally graze the knuckle. Mandolins. Violent razor sharp slicers equally at home in the kitchen or an Iraqi prison. Imagine if you could combine the benefits of both and build a grater you could put to use in inquisitions in some godforsaken foreign prison. Cuisipro, a Canadian company, has done it with it astonishingly good Accutec grater range. If you are wondering how to shave perfect curls of parmesan, chocolate, radish, garlic… or […]

Paraphernalia

Keep it stupid simple

New camera. Fifth shot. No touch-ups. Fast Company recently noted that what makes Google so great is that it is simple. Just one box on a page without the pretensions of being a portal. Simple is what I like. Simple food. Simple gadgets like the Apple Macintosh and the Ipod. A camera should be simple too. That’s the beauty of those cardboard disposable ones. Just point and shoot. My original Canon Ixus was relatively simple to use. Alas my first […]