The future is foie gras

Why should a duck symbolise Melbourne or Australia?
You may be wondering this if you caught the opening of the Commonwealth Games on TV. And Michael Leunig didn’t divulge what he knows.
The truth is that Australia is secretly the largest producer of some of the best duck foie gras you’ll find in the southern hemisphere or Asia/Pacific.
Titter ye not.
This is a fast growing industry which is hidden from the world because the RSPCA says it will prosecute the FG farmers it finds.
Well actually there is another reason too. Neil Perry last year told me that the post 9/11 security crack down had stopped chefs smuggling the fresh stuff in from France or the US. There was a demand and somebody filled it. And I’m told there are other producers no more than a few hours outside Sydney.
Driven underground, this business is run by the kind of diamond geezers you’d expect to be pushing your top grade class ‘A’ narcotic.
I have to be circumspect here for fear of not only losing my supplier but being kneecapped by her.
Drive north up the Hume Highway, past the tree that looks like a chicken for perhaps 30 minutes, turn right towards (I’m not telling you) and find the hidden valley.
The honking will warn you that the flock is near.
Or perhaps you could meet at a petrol station this side of the Westgate Bridge on a dark Friday evening.
I just may divulge the details to regular readers. Or perhaps not.
Remember you won’t read about this in the newspapers.
Where’s that D’quem?