
Crispy anchovy bones
“We’re in the country. What do we do now?”
I needed advice but, of course, text didn’t even work on my increasingly dodgy Sony-Ericsson.
There I was stuck, not knowing what to do with my trousers falling down.
I still haven’t worked out why this keeps happening. I am wearing a belt and it is either something to do with me having lost weight and needing to go a notch tighter or because I have put on weight and my belly is pushing the trousers down. Perhaps it was caused because the only thing to do in the country is to eat, drink (as the driver, moderately) and pretend that I am The Stig on winding back roads.
At least I managed to wear the correct underwear for the prevailing conditions.
Saturday’s particular winding road brought me from Beechworth to Range in Myrtleford a restaurant attached to a motel on the Snow Road.
On reflection I may have lost weight as I spent a good deal of time dodging Jackie’s stabbing fork tines at Range as she demonstrated what she wanted to do with the squawking women in the corner.
The problem was that there was another woman squawking behind her and two large tables competing to make the most noise reflecting the noise to us poor couples at the other end.
For the country the service good although there were a couple of blips perhaps to do with their noisy handfuls that night.
Our bread arrived after my superb appetiser of a crispy deep friend anchovy skeleton served atop it’s cured flesh ($4).
I’d expected to have a very meaty weekend being the country but it is possible to eat well at Range as a vegetarian or at least eat only small amounts of meat. The chef, Michael Ryan who has a thing about teapots, has put together a really good menu with simply four appetisers, five starters, mains and puddings and three cheeses.

Beetroot carpaccio
Jak started with a Beetroot carpaccio, orange jelly, Kiewa Estate orange agrumato (orange olive oil), Mt Buffalo hazelnut praline, yoghurt, and tiny beetroot shoots ($17). It was very fresh and the orange/beetroot match works well.

Almost a teapot
I chose some meat I’m afraid, the chicken, local pumpkin, and soy bean tea ($19) which is a broth served in a teapot. The broth was rich and full of savoury umami flavours in which floated chicken dumplings, pumpkin and a generous helping of Soy Beans, which to me always feel like an injection of goodness.
Of course, Jak is a Queenslander and it is impossible for her to eat without meat, a crisp fatty as it should be slow cooked pork belly sitting on segments of roasted apple, an apple and pomegranate sauce and a refreshing shaved fennel salad ($30).

Pork belly
The crackling was paper thin and crispy, not chewy like it often ends up at home. The Pork fell apart at the touch of the fork tines (shortly before they were back in my face again).
I was looking forward to my Potato gnocchi which was tossed with cauliflower, almonds and sage ($26) because it came with King River Gold. It was a classy vegetarian dish but I was disappointed as it turned out King River Gold was not a drug but a local cheese a very tasty one melted into the gnocchi at that.

Gnocchi
It was also a very rich dish which I offset with my own salad of shaved fennel mixed in with apple, celeriac, almonds and feta ($12).
All this was astonishingly good food and astonishingly good value if you are used to City prices. But the wine list is even better with quality wines by the glass costing from $7 to $10.

Chocolate terrine
Now I had to do something drastic. I gambled that I’d lost weight and chose the chocolate terrine ($13) which I hoped would add some weight on to me and help me keep my trousers up. It didn’t as it was light rather than a solid lump coming with a delicate spiced banana mouse, some creme fraiche and some caramelized bananas that were so good I must try doing it at home.
It was time to finish with Ryan’s final teapot integrated with a cup de resistance and a peppermint tea.
Everything was just right and I didn’t need to eat a thing more, and that includes the ladybird in my tea.

The very cool teapot
Food Fascist
- More to come on the surprising amounts of insects we eat.
- Wii Fit not used for three weeks
- Also try Rinaldo’s, Simone’s, The Epicurian Centre, Bridge Road Brewery, Bright Brewery, Warden’s Fine Food. More to come on this soon.
- I’m surprised so much ocean fish is used out here and not moreMurray Cod (farmed) or trout. Cananybody explain?
- Is that bloke from menulog spamming you as well?
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