Don’t stall. Do oysters

R0011495

Hurray! Oysters are back in season, ahem, down under.
Actually, it is difficult to tell when they are out as most fishmongers stocks them whatever, even during the hot summer months when they are awful.
Obviously, Australian’s aren’t discerning about this bivalve as most people either buy them in bottles or preshucked, lying their dead for hours and without those sexy salty juices.
The best in Australia are from the cold waters of Tasmania. the worst from the warm waters of Queensland.
My relationship with oysters is up and down. My first came as a boy from the Butley Orford Oysterage in Suffolk. They were so large that I called in Sigourney Weaver to help me tackle them. Later I found a small irregular pearl in one of the Butley ones.
Later I was poisoned in Hervey Bay.
Fingers crossed.

Food fascist

1. Do only eat freshly shucked oysters

2. Don’t use one of those expensive poncy chain mail gloves

3. Do use a special shucking knife or a screwdriver.

4. Don’t use a normal knife; you’ll snap the blade

5. Do watch your hands, you will probably stab yourself

6. Don’t scrimp. Oysters are cheap and plentiful. Eat load!

7. Do save those sexy, salty juices

8. Don’t much them around too much (kill the kilpatrick).

9. Do make a zesty lemon/lime dressing perhaps with hints of chilli and fish sauce.

10. Don’t throw out the shells. Crush them with a bloody great hammer and put in the garden.

11. Do someone. Now!

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